Scanlyze

The Online Journal of Insight, Satire, Desire, Wit and Observation

Deconstructing Miss Teen South Carolina

Miss Teen USA 2007 – South Carolina answers a question

Q (Aimee Teegarden): Recent polls have shown that a fifth of Americans polled can’t locate the US on a world map. Why do you think this is?

A (Miss Teen South Carolina, Lauren Caitlin Upton): I personally believe the U.S. Americans are unable to do so because some people out there in our nation don’t have maps and I believe that our education like such as in South Africa and the Iraq everywhere like such as and I believe they should our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S. or should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future for uh.

Analysis:

I personally believe

…but don’t be offended if you don’t agree…

the U.S. Americans are unable to do so because some people out there in our nation don’t have maps

Why can’t the “US Americans” locate the US on a map? They don’t have maps! Brilliant!

This next part is strange and difficult.

and I believe that our education

She seems to be rallying here…

like such as in South Africa and the Iraq everywhere

Those are countries, on maps, somewhere, everywhere… good…

like such as and I believe they should our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S.

but they are foreigners, we should help educate our own people first (?)

or should help South Africa

Or maybe not, maybe we should help African nations like such as… South Africa… that’s like such as in Africa, right?

and should help The Iraq and Asian countries

The Iraq is another country on maps, I know because there’s a war there in The Iraq called “The Iraq War”, and its on maps, and, like such as, the Asian countries like such as, um, the Asian countries…

so we will be able to build up our future for uh.

Time is running out, end on a positive and inclusive note. Don’t forget to smile at the camera!

This video has been viewed around the world more than 12 million times. US Americans, the world isn’t laughing with us, they are laughing *at* us.

This girl clearly has all it takes to be President!

Tube Map for Miss South Carolina

See also: Google on Bush and “Miss Teen South Carolina” (581,000 entries)
Song for Miss Teen USA 2007 South Carolina- Andy Hide

Copyright © 2007 Henry Edward Hardy

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5 September, 2007 - Posted by | Aimee Teegarden, deconstruction, education, fool, laughingstock, Lauren Caitlin Upton, like such as, maps, media, Miss Teen USA, news, politics, scanlyze, South carolina, teen, US, USA, video

2 Comments »

  1. […] also: Deconstructing Miss Teen South Carolina Bush on Iraq: ‘We’re Kicking […]

    Pingback by Bush: Mandela is dead because “Saddam Killed all the Mandelas” « Scanlyze | 21 September, 2007 | Reply

  2. Miss Teen South Carolina answered that question badly, but she’s still got her looks to fall back on…

    Comment by coffee | 4 January, 2009 | Reply


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