Scanlyze

The Online Journal of Insight, Satire, Desire, Wit and Observation

I ran into Santa on the 87 bus

I ran into Santa on the 87 bus coming home from the dentist today.

At least he was dressed more or less as Santa with a red suit and red floppy hat and answered to Santa when I addressed him as such.

“Hello there Santa, you’re kind of early this year aren’t you?

Well you know I have to get down from the North Pole and all.

What about the reindeer.

They don’t fly except on Christmas. I gunna have to bring Rudolph again this year.

Doesn’t Rudolph have to you know, light the way?

Yeah that’s what he does at night.

And in daytime?

You don’t want to know. Are you just coming home from work?

I was at the dentist.

I hope they gave you something for the pain.

It was just a checkup the pain comes later.

You know I have an elf with a sore tooth. It’s so bad he can’t work or nothin’.

I hope they gave him something for the pain.

They gave him Percocet.

That must be a happy elf!

(black lady with a ton of shopping bags): Ha ha ha. Yep that’s one happy elf. Ha ha ha.

Yes he ain’t feelin’ no pain now. But he still won’t work.

Are we going to be getting messed up toys with an apology saying this elf had a sore tooth and then he was too stoned to work?

No I got enough elfs. Everything is under control. Don’t you worry about nothin’!”

(/me gets off at Teele Square)

You have to have a sense of fantasy! :) :) :)

Copyright © 2012 Henry Edward Hardy

7 December, 2012 - Posted by | scanlyze | , , , , , , , ,

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